Alito among the Lilliputians

Cast onto the shore of the Judiciary Committee by the aftermath of the storm that wrecked the nomination of Harriest Miers, Samuel Alito woke up this morning to find small people trying to bind him with tiny ropes. Revealing more about themselves (and spending most of their "question" time making statements) than about him, they devoted agonizing effort to trying to discern on which end he would crack various eggs.

Senator Ted (I Can't Be Troubled to Learn Your Name Judge "Alioto") Kennedy waddled through an incoherent set of questions about racism based on false premises. Senator Patrick (Leaking Classified National Intelligence Since 1986) Leahy seemed to still have his feelings hurt that the President hadn't personally briefed him on super-secret programs so he could run to CNN with the scoop. Senator Joe (I Really Don't Like Princeton--but Neil Kinnock Didn't Like it First) Biden pronounced himself puzzled...and after listening to him consume 80% of his alloted time rambling along, so was everyone else. Senator Charles (Credit Check Chuck) Schumer waved around a copy of the Constitution and asked Alito to agree with him that the things he wants to be in there that aren't really are.

On and on (and on) it went. (And lest I be accused of too-partisan a bias, the Republicans weren't much better.) At the close of the day, at least several of the Lilliputians seemed poised to sentence Alito to be blinded by the poison filibuster arrow. But given the immense gap between the size of his intellect and theirs, it seems likely at this point that he will safely reach a seat on the Supreme Court, leaving the little people bobbing harmlessly in his wake calling out their futile insults against him.